Today's blog is a little bit different from the types of posts I normally make, because it's something I've been thinking about for months now and I want to know if anyone else out there has either been through the same thing, or tackled something similar or is going through it themselves. I try not to post too personal a topic on my blog nowadays, but I think it's a good platform for connecting with others going through similar problems and for me it's a good way to get rid of some of the anxiety and the worries I end up scrolling through in my head. I promise there will be some pictures to break up the post, but if you have any advice, I would love to hear it!
So, about 4 months ago I moved and it's lovely in the Lake District and as you can see the view from my window is really uplifting, and I don't regret the big change because I'm with my family and I'm still in close contact with all my friends and I know that like most things, it will probably change again and I'm sure I'll move in the future and I'll always be able to see my friends and the world is open to me to explore, BUT, ever since I left university and graduated, I feel like my direction in life has become really muffled and I don't know where I'm going! Everytime I think about I have a really difficult time picturing myself doing anything at the moment, it's almost like a weird type of writer's block, but for real life.
Lately I find that all my thoughts have been taken up with thinking about my future, as in jobs, and where I want to live and what I want to do with my life, and I don't know if it's just a knee-jerk reaction to graduating and realising that now I have to have a think about what I am planning on doing now because the next 3 or so years aren't necessarily mapped out for me, but it's starting to get me down. I know what my passions are and I know that I probably will end up having a few different jobs in my lifetime, and hopefully learning lots of news things along the way, but at the moment I just have this huge fear of not knowing and I don't know how to get away from it or how to tackle it.
I feel like at 24 I should feel independent enough to be able to make these choices without much reproach and to be able to be laid back about whatever will be, will be, but for some reason I just feel like I'm not accomplishing anything unless I have all my thoughts and my life organised and sorted out, and I know that's mental, because I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who are feeling the same way, but I'm placing unnecessary stress on myself to accomplish basically EVERYTHING as soon as I can, otherwise I feel like I'm failing myself in a way.
Phew. I think we need another photo, just to space things out, and this is one of my 365 entries below.
And then I feel a bit ungrateful and pathetic because I'm not grabbing life and just getting on with it, and this all probably sounds a bit complicated, but I don't know if anyone else has experienced this? Is this just the post-university blues? It's even gotten to the point where my hobbies, including this, blogging, are taking a back-seat, because I'm placing my focus onto other things which is then making me worry because I feel like I'm not enjoying my free time or using it wisely, because it's taken up by worrying and then I worry about the worrying...oh dear. If you've read this far then thank you, and sorry this is so long and a bit complicated but I feel like it's a good idea to type my thoughts down and who knows, this may strike a chord with someone out there.
Have you experience this? How did you move out of the slump?
Thank you and I hope that you are having a good day.